Us

When I first laid eyes on you I thought you were more attractive than a magnet  

Turns out you were more dateable than my agenda  

With a personality sweeter than Splenda 

I’d blow your phone up like it was a hot line  

I knew you had to be mine  

Each day we spent together felt like the fourteenth  

You were my forever Valentine  

Every moment our love grew  

Together we were indestructible, there was never anything we couldn’t get through  

As time passed things began to change 

That puppy dog love quickly faded into dust  

We agreed communication was a must 

You started keeping secrets 

What happened to trust?  

For each thing you held back my sadness multiplied by ten  

If only we could go back to how we were  

I would rewind the tape just to watch you hurt me again

We went from loving and playful to dreadful  

Everything I do bothers you  

We went from harmless banter to taking turns playing the ranter 

Enduring constant screaming bouts  

Midway through we forgot what we were arguing about  

Always pointing our fingers trying to place the blame  

Looking back our love will never be the same  

After all this carnage, I feel like a fucking fool 

How did I convince myself to stay this long?  

I must not be the sharpest tool  

Or the brightest bulb in the box  

You think you were sly like a fox  

After all this damage, years won’t be enough to detox

Your love should come with a caution label  

Proceed if you only believe in fables  

Or that loving you will be fatal 

Mentally you won’t be able to remain stable  

I’ve lost my mind  

I never envisioned my future without you

We were supposed to be forever, but now it’s never 

How could I ever love someone as much as I loved you?

We will never work and that’s a tough truth to swallow  

The thought of not being with you makes me want to die, but I cannot be sparred with another lie 

I feel like ending it all with this bullet  

My finger is on the trigger and I’m contemplating if I should pull it  

As I sit here with this loaded gun, my life flashes  

Life and death clashes as our love burned to ashes 

Even if I stay, each day I will want to cry and if I leave I will want to die 

In time these tears in my eyes will dry, but my hopes are no longer high 

Either way there is nothing good about this bye

The start was messy but somehow I persisted. You made me nervous, not knowing what thoughts of me float about your head. But each time I’d see you again, I’d think twice of what I’d said.

It wasn’t long before I saw less of me and more of us; it would only be mere hours before we’d talk again. It wasn’t about doing everything together but our love and want for each other.

It seemed too soon that things fell apart. I’d hoped you’d call but was met with overwhelming silence. Instead of reaching out, I let the thread unwind. Blaming myself… or you…it hurt too much to ask why.

You say we lost trust, but I think it ran deeper. It was the words unspoken and the words that we kept inside. Did you know you hurt me? You’d rather blame a lie.

The part that hurts the most is that we’d try again and again. But each time we’d come back more fearful than last. You’d tell me I’m the one to blame, but have you considered your past?

You said it yourself, communication broke down. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think your feelings were the same. If I’d told you the truth, which one might run away? I think you and I are both to blame.

I question myself everyday, “Was I wrong? What could I change?” The reality is that maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we’d thought all along. If secrets were kept, how could we be strong?

When it first played out, I thought I couldn’t last. When I loved you I was happiest. I kept coming back. But now that I’m here, some years moved on. Maybe it’s better that I’m finally gone.

If I could do it all over again, maybe I’d talk or try to fix my mistakes. But communication is a two way street, something you refused to learn. And as I stand here, I no longer yearn.

It’s finally over, and I realized that I did my best. I made mistakes, tried to fix it, but couldn’t do more. But finally now the answer is clear: goodbye… I’ll endure.